Other than dangling appendages, men and elephants have little in common. Elephants never forget, men rarely remember.

Unlike our pachyderm brethren, most men suck at remembering important dates. It’s true, check out this article “Why Men Forget Anniversaries And Birthdays: They Genuinely Have Crappier Memories Than Women.” From the article… “For the first time ever, researchers have discovered that men do actually forget more easily than women.”

And I’m even worse at remembering names. I may have worked with you for 10 years but if I haven’t seen you in 6 months? Forget it. You may as well be a stranger. I’m like a blank slate. That’s why I always have my wife introduce herself when we unexpectedly run into someone. She knows I have no idea who I’m talking to. I usually go with the “What’s up man!” So embarrassing.

Elephant matriarchs lead the pack and can remember where they found past meals, which are friends or enemies and even hold grudges against others. (Sound familiar boys?)

I can tell you where the best place to get wings late on a Saturday night after a few cocktails but that’s where my elephant memory comparisons end. 


The Forgetful Man

You ever forget a birthday or an anniversary? Join the club. It should be relatively easy to remember your anniversary, your lady’s birthday, you know the special times. But I always forget. That’s why I had the date engraved on the inside of my wedding ring. Problem is I can’t get my ring off (probably due to too many chicken wings). 


What Did She Want Again?

Even if we remember the anniversary or birthday, it’s hard to remember what they wanted. How often do our ladies either tell us what to get them, or drop hints, and we totally forget? I do it all the time. If there were only some way to remember. Damn it’s like a good night during the college days. Everything’s a little fuzzy. I know she mentioned she liked this or that but, aw hell it’s gone forever. Like those glorious 4 years (ok maybe 5).


5 Stores and still… Nothing

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve ran all over hell trying to find that special gift. I’ve been married 20 years so I’m running out of ideas. I need help. I need ideas! It doesn’t help that I wait until the last minute. If I only remembered her birthday sooner. Heck, if I had acted 3 weeks out, I could have done it all online and have it delivered right to my door, but nope. Why do we put such pressure on ourselves?


I Found the Perfect Gift!

You’re not off the hook yet. You finally found an acceptable gift but what about the gift wrapping and the card? I think I have wasted weeks off my life wandering up and down the card aisle looking for something funny, sentimental, maybe original? Then I turn the card over and think “$7! for a card?”. And that’s when I remember to get a card. Ever forget and then use a sharpie to write To and From on the box? I have. Wrapping the gift… right. I once grabbed a card, but in my haste I forgot the wrapping paper. Luckily the gift-box they gave me at the store was nice.

The worst part is that none of this is because I don’t love my wife. I really want to make her happy and give her a great gift. No, it’s because I forget then have to scramble. Damn memory! Wait, was what I talking about?


So How Do I Remember?

Tying a bow on your finger may have worked back in the old days but today we have technology that has our back.  So how are you going to remember your anniversary or your lady’s birthday? Shout out to Siri  to alert you of important dates. “Hey Siri–make sure I don’t screw up my wife’s birthday on February 18!” You can also use your phone to add Google notes when your woman drops a hint.  Or take a photo of that dress she’s admiring while yuo’re in the store. 

Or…you can swing your trunk over to Yacho.com and spend two minutes signing up for this amazing free app that sends you both reminder AND gift ideas for her.  Let us take one thing off your plate in this Covid 2020 Cluster. Don’t be a Dumbo–sign up for Yacho and the app will actually pick out gifts for your lady based on a few simple questions.